i hate being told im fine the way i am. what if i dont like how i am? in fact, what if i hate it. if i aspire to be more beautiful, more thin, more thick, more stylish, or smarter than i already am, why do people box those aspirations for me by telling me, i should just accept myself how i am? the point of nature is to change.
"if you dont like something, change it, but if you change it then you must hate yourself"…well i do sometimes. a lot more these days than before. everything i want to do or want to be, i can’t (at least in my mind) because i was made to feel like i wasn’t allowed or undeserving of things like beauty and love. nobody has seen what i want happen…only i have. it’s like i can never reach it. everyone thinks im crazy by now, because i always say i can see it, but i know they can’t. it exists though. however faintly, it exists.